Choosing different things

We had a family friend’s birthday party to go to at the beach, and so we needed to make a plan for who and when would go. There were a few logistics to balance, and Michael and I tried to come up with scenarios that would work best. At the end of our list, I said let’s ask the boys and see what they think.

When I presented a couple options to Finn and Rhys they each chose a different way. I asked them how we could work it out, and Rhys said “Actually, I don’t want to go. I want to stay home with Dadoo.”. This was not something we had thought of beforehand, and not something I would have guessed Rhys would want. After he said it, all plans clicked into place and the logistics were solved!

This was one of the first times Rhys has chosen to do something different than his big brother Finn. He loves being with Finn, and would sometimes give up his wants to appease Finn. Slowly over the months I have seen small shifts, because Rhys grows more independent.

And Finn having more of his own time has helped deepen his interests and understanding of himself. It was always a tricky balance navigating both of their needs engine they were basically inseparable. Finn wasn’t often verbal about what he wanted for quite a time, but now he too is getting more verbal about needing space. It feels like a natural progression that they came to on their own timeline.


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