I’ve been mulling over joy in the face of difficult times, and wanted to share. Since being sick with covid, I have been feeling deep gratitude for the big things that may get taken for granted, like being alive, or not having severe (although lasting) cases of the virus. I’m seeing the magic and joy with almost an urgent awareness that each moment is sacred.
Joy is found in the undercurrent of our days. I’ve been finding myself kind of swimming in that space just above the current, where the water is moving, but more slowly and a little unpredictable. I’m reflecting on difficult times in my past, and have found a constant: it’s life’s challenges that have brought about the most growth in me. I think a key element has been losing control in a specific way that has motivated me to do something completely different than I would have done otherwise. My best example is when I sustained a temporary brain injury. I felt completely helpless, and during that time I found Reiki and energy healing. Out of desperation to try anything, I signed up for an energy healing school, and learned quickly that I was going to be dealing with my shit, as the saying goes “you can only heal others to the extent that you have healed yourself.”. Much of the program was inner work, and I worked hard at healing childhood/family wounds. It completely changed my life in ways I didn’t know were possible at the time. The realization that difficult situations can produce the most change has helped me re-story this chapter in my family’s life.
So much good has come out of this time- my husband is spending more time with the kids, and it is amazing to see him sink into unschooling more fully than ever. I feel like our flow is bringing us all closer. I’ve been getting back to healing techniques I learned years ago and they give deep reassurance. I’m resting a lot, refining my ability to be in tune with my needs. The kids are flourishing and continue to amaze me with their insights or complete silliness. I’ve been stepping back a bit, and I’m seeing so much more that has always been in front of me. What a gift: to be able to tap into the love and connection that is already here.
